You Have a Right to Your Grief

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Time after time, someone who is grieving is told to move on with their life…you should be over it by now…put it behind you…or other misguided advice. Have any of these advisors ever lost someone? How can they give out this insensitive advice?

If you are grieving and can function in your daily life and responsibilities, then your grief is normal. There is no time limit to grieving. In fact, your grief will last as long as you live. It is your grief, not someone else’s; do not let anyone tell you how or how long to grieve. You have a right to your grief.

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The Sun will Rise on a New Tomorrow

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Thoughts from a gentler time

easing through my mind.

sounds from a distant place

memories left behind.

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When death brings separation from a loved one, the day becomes as night. The very air of life disappears, it seems, and you are disconnected for a time from all that you know and love. Someone you care deeply about is gone from your presence.

For the moment, life stands still. There is no sense of tomorrow or the day after, only a present sense of pain. It appears to you that life cannot go on without them.

Each experience of loss varies, but the pain of separation is common in all. The time that passes before this pain subsides and allows the possibility of a tomorrow can be very different for each one. The initial experience seems like forever, but is temporary.

The sun will rise on a new tomorrow and life will go on. Life as you know it will have changed, but life does go on and your grief adapts to that life. The memories left behind will become a soothing balm as each day passes and thoughts of a gentler time will begin to ease through your mind as you smile and remember.

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Keys and a Badge

Keys and a badge, symbols of an earlier time in history.

Skeleton keys, clock keys and turn keys for a jail cell; no longer of any use.

If only they could talk; the stories they could tell.

The badge belonged to Constable Coit,

a policeman in Danville, IL back in the day.

He was my grandfather.

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Memories are to preserve and treasure through the years.

May your memories last a lifetime.

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A Memory Sweet is Why I Cry

Jon

My little boy in red shorts,

How I remember you.

That smile…that twinkle in your eye.

A memory sweet is why I cry.

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For the past week, I have been sharing excerpts from a book called, “A Hole in My Heart.”  It is the story of my son, Jon and I…the years we had together before his death at age 45. In the telling of our story, I hope to encourage and bring hope and peace to others who can relate to the experience.

This blog is written Monday thru Friday with the hope of helping others during their time of loss of a loved one. Whether it be a grandparent, parent or a child, the journey through the world of “death and dying” does not have to be unbearable nor do you have to feel isolated or alone in your sorrow.

The Memory Bears you see here have been created for families who have lost a loved one. The bears are unique as they are made from the loved one’s favorite or most familiar clothing. Memory Bears are there for you to hold and hug as you remember. They also quickly become a keepsake and a sentimental family heirloom for generations to come.

All ordering information is under the headings at the top of this website. When you do order, it will be by a personal conversation with me, so that I can sense in my heart what you are going through. I create each memory bear with love and respect for your loved one. May your memories bring you comfort and smiles.

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The Train

A train is moving through the night.

Passengers slumber on seats upright.

Whistle blows as crossings near,

Gate is down, all is clear.

 

Through the night to destiny,

Rails are hummin’ in harmony.

Clickity-clack the wheels go on,

Through darkness to the morn.

 

A special car, not seen by all,

Carries the coffins of those who fall.

Uniformed shadows, their vigil keep,

Honor their comrades in eternal sleep.

 

Copyright © 2011 LeRoy Dean All Rights Reserved

Take a moment this Memorial Day and remember those who gave their live that we might be free. Remember the wounded and those who continue to serve, let them know you appreciate their sacrifice. My heartfelt gratitude goes out to the families of all.

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The Writing of “A Hole in My Heart”

This past week, I have been posting excerpts from “A Hole in My Heart.” It is the story of a mother and her son from his complicated birth to his death at age 45.

In the writing of the book, I hope to come to terms with the haunts and regrets of the past. I hope the sharing of my experience will encourage other parents, especially those who have lost a child. Sometimes, the greatest knowledge is to know that you are not alone in your experience.

Through my experience in hospice and as a mother who buried her child, I always hope to help and encourage anyone who suffers the lost of a loved one, especially a child. Although death and personal loss come to us all, each experience is unique on a personal level. My hope is to help and encourage others as they journey through the unavoidable world of death and dying.

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 Have a reflective Memorial weekend…Thank a Veteran.

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Excerpt from “A Hole in My Heart…Jon’s Drawing”

Through the years, from preemie to a young man, Jon’s life was a struggle for identity. If that builds character, then Jon had a lot of it. It is a normal process for a mother to teach her son, yet Jon taught me so many things.

The book,  “A Hole in My Heart” brings out Jon’s character and our relationship in greater detail; there are so many memories, so many stories to tell. Following is a story and a lesson I will never forget and one that I hope any parent will understand early on in their child’s life…believe in and support your children, always.

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In 1977 we were living in Temple Terrace, FL. Jon was in the sixth grade. Oahu and Tripler seemed like forever ago when Jon had fought his way into this world.

I came home from work one day and Jon had drawn a picture of a seacoast and birds flying in the sky. He proudly showed it to me. I kidded him that the birds looked like flying mustaches…that was okay…he smiled.

What wasn’t okay came next. The picture was so good…I accused him of tracing it. What a “young and dumb” remark that was. To this day, I regret that moment. Jon never drew any more pictures after that…ever!

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Tomorrow: The writing of “A Hole in My Heart.”