The Seasons of Your Grief

Seconds become minutes; minutes become hours; hours become days; days become months and months become years; so goes the passing of time.

New grief is like the seconds…ever so slowly turning into the pain of the minutes and hours that you remember with your loved one. Eventually, the hours of painful loneliness turn into days of recalling those yesterdays together.

Sooner than you realize, the days become months and the months, years. Your pain of loss has become part of your life; your memories, part of each moment.

The seasons of your grief become a reality as you smile through your tears… remembering moments in time as you turn the pages in your album of life.

I Never Imagined Things Would Change

Everything around me as a small child was comfort to me. The grade school years brought no threats to my safe and secure environment. High school offered more challenges, but my life and surroundings were intact. The warm summer sun was shining on all that I knew and life was good. It was a time of forever.

I never imagined things would change, but change they did: subtle at first, then more noticeable with each month…with each year. My parents are gone, then my two brothers, one by one; then, recently, I lost my son. You wake up one morning and the elderly image in the mirror provides a jolt of reality to your nostalgic mind.

For the young, be aware that life passes with the swiftness of a mountain stream, but it is only in looking back that you notice. Everything and everyone you see won’t always be there. With each passing day, things change. The lesson here for all is to make every moment of the journey count and the younger you begin, the better.

Memories

It is fall and the temperatures are beginning to decline and stay there. Soon, the snow will cover the ground, making hot chocolate taste even better. With a warm, crackling fire to cozy up to, memories lay soft upon one’s heart.

Memories do not necessarily require the above setting. They return to us in any setting, especially one that is familiar to the memory. Sometimes, we are ready for the memories, sometimes we are not.

The loss of a loved one is an unwelcome, but real part of life. The loss cannot be changed by trying to suppress memories. The grieving process is dependent upon memories for the adjustments that we need to make in order to go on. The memories we have are all we have left. Without them, we would have nothing.

“May your memories linger always”

Time

fall-leavesThe ticking of a clock in a quiet room reminds me of the constancy of time. Time does not wait for you. Time cannot be stopped, be stored away, be changed, be re-done. The time given to each one is unknown. Each second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year…becomes a lifetime. The time is yours…use it wisely.

A Reason to Go On

There are times in this life when you wonder how you will put one foot in front of the other, times that you cannot prepare for or even foresee, times when you search for a reason to go on. The death of a loved one can be one of those times.

Losing a loved one is not an event anyone looks forward to experiencing. The losses of a father or mother, a brother or sister, an aunt or uncle, a nephew or niece are all losses within the family structure. Each one has its own degree of pain, depending on the personal relationship each one developed in this life.

When you marry and have children, you begin a new personal level of family that had not existed before. These new relationships create a new level of pain. The loss of a spouse or a child is the greatest family loss you may face in this life. These losses will challenge you to find a reason to go on.

If for no other reason, but for their sake, you will go on…putting one very painful step in front of the other…making it through one painful moment, then an hour, then a day, then another until you find your stride…and through your tears and your pain you will keep going and remembering them until you know that they are your reason to go on.