~~~
In hospice care, it is understood that the patient is going to die. There is time to think, to reconcile, to say goodbye. For the patient, there is time to worry, to wonder if their family will be okay without them. They can actually hold on to life, for a time, with these thoughts. Though death waits, they cling to life.
In hospice, the most important guidance we gave a family member was to give their loved one permission to die. Release them from the responsibilities of this life by telling them it was okay to go; a hard thing to do, but necessary. As a family member gave their loved one permission to die, without realizing it, they gave themselves permission to live.
~~~
I think this is such a critically important step in the grieving process- accepting that it is ok to live and even be happy again. In the midst of all of the sadness and pain, we truly know deep down that our loved one would want us to be happy and enjoy the life that we have. It can be so hard to get to that place but such a release when you do.
Just hours before his death, I gave my son permission to die. I never quite thought of it as giving myself permission to live before. I’ll consider it further. Thank you.