The loss of a loved one and the grieving process is a very vulnerable and fragile time for any of anyone. We hurt; we cry; sometimes, we feel like we can’t go on; we look for answers and find ourselves lost in a confusing array of information.
My husband and I talked with a friend who lost her husband about a year ago. She was getting a lot of well-intended but confusing advice from friends about her grief. We found her more confused and hurting than ever.
Often, others try to tell us how long they think we should grieve; how long and how often we should be crying. The list goes on. We try to conform to the advice, only finding ourselves more confused and in more pain, because now we have been isolated by a lack of understanding and we are failing to conform to the ideas of others. If any of this sounds familiar, read carefully the next few words.
Your grief is yours and yours alone. Others may share your sense of loss, but each one has their own grief. No one can or should tell you how much and how long you should grieve. With time, you will become more comfortable with your loss, but your grief will always be there. If you are able to function and manage your daily affairs, your grief is normal.
Grief, like death and loss, is a very real part of life. Through the years, as you remember your loved one, you will grieve. You will smile and you will cry…and you will be okay.
“May your memories linger always”
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Pingback: Some Writings on Grief | Out Here Hope Remains
Love your work and your words Bonnie x
I put you on my list of versatile bloggers. So if you want to read all about it, head back to my page.
Thank you for sharing this today.
22 september has been a very difficult date for me for the last 12 years…
what you write sounds so familiar!
Thank you, Bonnie, for sharing your wisdom about grief. I’ve had far too many clients who feel guilty about mourning because friends, family and some professionals advised them to get on with life, to move on …
Do not forget to heed to your own wonderful advice so you to may feel some comfort. May God give you peace Bonnie.