Grieving is hard enough when someone we love dies, without making it harder. We don’t really know how much more grief we bring upon ourselves, but we do.
We do it by buying into guilt and regret. Both are negatives and both are waiting right there to provide even greater pain than we should normally feel when we lose someone close. It is so easy to buy into one or both, yet so hard to bear.
Now and then, there may be a genuine need for one or the other, but in most all situations, it is unnecessary. We bring it upon ourselves and once we do, it can take most of a lifetime to be free of it. The best move is not to buy into either one.
It isn’t easy to stay away from them, but stay away we must. No one is perfect. We make mistakes. We leave things undone…unsaid. We are imperfect, but that is not a reason for feeling guilty or regretting, for it is useless and unnecessary self-punishment that we inflict upon ourselves.
Let it go…forgive yourself and let it go. Lay it down and walk away. Do it today and tomorrow and every day after until it’s done. Give yourself permission to feel good about “you” and live your life. It isn’t easy, but it can be done.