The Pain and Heartache of Loss

We were living in Tennessee at the time. It was a time for forgetting after experiencing “ground zero” for Hurricane Charley in Florida. It was a time for renewal. It was also a time when our son wasn’t speaking to us, again. We had been through it before and would get through the silence, once more.

Butch got up early one morning, grabbed a cup of coffee and booted up the computer to check our hometown obituaries, as was his custom. It was his birthday and the beginning of another beautiful day in middle Tennessee.

Later, when I awoke, I found Butch sitting in the office in front of the computer. Even though it was his birthday, he had a tearful sadness about him. He looked at me, and then pointed to the screen. He had gone to the obituaries as always, but there was one he never expected to read.

You see, that morning in our hometown obituaries was a death notice for “Titus Elijah Dean.” With tears flowing, I read about the death of our grandson who we never even knew existed. He was one year and three days old when he died. In one moment that morning, we said hello and goodbye to our grandson.

Through our tears, we spent the rest of that morning creating a memorial webpage for Titus; our final tribute to our grandson.

Grief is not a strange to us. We have walked that lonesome road many times for many reasons. Then, when we both worked with hospice patients, we walked the same road with each family. We know the pain and heartache of loss.

Make good use of your time. Don’t allow pride and stubbornness to rob you of time spent together for you will never get it back.


4 responses to “The Pain and Heartache of Loss

  1. I’m so sorry for you both. I never knew about this. Your in my thoughts & prayers & may God Bless you both!!

  2. On some glad morning, your Sun shall rise again! Amen

  3. Bonnie, this is such a hard story to read as it was a blow to my stomach. Your family had encountered so much and at the same time you and Butch have extended your time and hearts to other families through working in hospice. Through your own pain, your selflessness has been used to bless other families. God has a plan and I am thankful to see His hands and feet and mouth being used through such people as the Deans.

    Thank you for inspiring me as you walk in His strength, love, comfort and grace.


  4. You and Butch have suffered a horrendous heartbreak. My heart and prayers are with you.
    blessings ~ maxi

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