(an excerpt from “A Hole in My Heart”…a work in progress.)
Memories of yesterdays are precious to our hearts. Often, memories are bitter-sweet and difficult to recall. We tend to focus on the bitter side of things and create much heartache for ourselves. Yesterday cannot be changed, it can only be accepted.
I have memories of my son, Jon, that are bitter-sweet. The tears I shed are tears of regret. I have gone most of my life regretting and blaming myself for not doing things different…for not knowing what to do…for not getting it right.
Hindsight is so clear, but the reality of the moment is all that I had. Looking back, I know I could have made better memories. Unfortunately, that is not how it works. You do with what you have and what you know at the time. I was young and trying to figure it out. I knew nothing about most everything.
I am learning to forgive myself. I am learning to let go of regret. If any of this is relative to your memories, I hope you will forgive yourself. It is hard to admit we are not perfect; that we do not have all the answers. It is very hard to look back and accept the bitter with the sweet. That is what we must do, for we cannot change it.
Copyright © Bonnie Dean All Rights Reserved