My husband and I both have hospice backgrounds, so we have a lot of training and experience in the field of death and dying. We are familiar with the theories pertaining to death and dying and the stages of grief that are in print. Through our experiences, both professional and personal, we are very much aware of the confusion that information of this nature presents to those who suffer loss.
Reading about death and dying is not the usual choice for reading material. One tends to think that these events happen to others, not to them. That is, until, it does happen. Then, in the midst of it all, trying to absorb information on the subject becomes very overwhelming. Often, the well-intended advice of friends and family bring an even greater confusion to the mix, plus the beginning of unnecessary guilt trips.
There is a lot of good information out there, but the personal application of it presents the problem. Each loss, each grief, each pain is individual. Information may serve as a general guideline, but should not be applied in a detailed way.
There is a common bound in grief and loss, but it differs in the personal application. Your grief is yours; someone else’s grief is theirs. Each day you grieve, eventually is better than the day before, but let no one tell you there is an end to grief; there is not. As the days, weeks, months and years go by; grief acclimates to your life, but grief and loss are a lifetime experience.