Category Archives: Thoughts

Memories

A time to live*…
To each of us, the precious gift of life is given.
Each breath we take, each beat of our heart, Is like the ticking of a clock…
“one second…one minute…one hour…one day…one month…one year…one life time.”
 
A time to die*…
For each of us, our earthly life ends. We leave behind the footprints of our life.
Each word we spoke…each look we gave…each thought we thought…each deed we did…
Is our self-portrait on the canvas of life.
 
 A  time to mourn*… a time to weep*…
For each of us, there is a time when we say goodbye to those we love…
And for those we love, there is a time when they will say goodbye to us…
In each, memories are left behind…memories of a life lived…a life loved.
 
Memories…
The” footprints” that we leave on another’s heart.
 
Memory Bears…
Personal creations made from your loved one’s favorite clothing…
For you to “hold and hug” as you remember.
 

 “May your memories linger always”

 *From Ecclesiastes, chapter 3

 

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Guilt and Regret Will Take Your Life

“My heart is a garden where the river of tears flows,

Near a house broken with guilt and worn through the years.

A bridge of heartache crossed many times is nearby,

The forest of pain, overgrown with failure, is dense with regret.”

Copyright ©2011 All Rights Reserved

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The loss of someone we love is hard enough without the burdens of guilt and regret. Guilt and regret are vultures that eat at your mind and soul…they destroy memories and friendships…they bring darkness and misery…they take your life while you are still alive. All anyone can do is the best they can do each day. All anyone can do is to make the best of the time given.

Having done all you can do…

smile through your tears…

and find comfort in the warm blanket of memories.

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“May your memories linger always”

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Preparing For The Inevitable

When hospice patients and their families recognize that death is an unavoidable outcome, anticipatory grief begins. Denial slowly gives way to acceptance and the time left to spend together becomes important. Patients and families are encouraged to say everything they need to their loved one, to take advantage of the small amount of time life has left to offer. There are tears of sorrow and joy; there are words of love and forgiveness spoken. Sometimes, there are no words, only presence. Eventually, the patient takes their last breath and death, that part of life one chooses to avoid, occurs. With separation begins a greater grieving and sorrow.

Death is inevitable and remains unannounced until the appointed time arrives. To have the time to say goodbye to a loved one is a blessing. When death comes suddenly and unexpected, there is no time to prepare and the grieving and sorrow are much greater.

It is so very important to live life to the fullest, to take advantage of the time we have to spend with those we care about. Making each day count is the best way to prepare for the inevitable.

“May your memories linger always”

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Unwelcome, Unavoidable and Misunderstood

If I were to define something as “unwelcome, unavoidable and misunderstood”, it would be grief. No one has ever welcomed it into his or her life nor has anyone been able to avoid its presence. For the most part, grief has been misunderstood and this lack of understanding has created more grief than necessary.

For so many, there has been someone there telling them that they should be over their grief by now. This well-intended person with misinformation has created and continues to create a greater grief and guilt for those who mourn.

Grief is a deep sorrow over losing someone you love. Saying to someone that he or she should be over their grief is like saying that they should be over their love for that person. Looking at it this way, grief is not something anyone gets over. Grief, like love, becomes a functional part of their life.

A Special Bear

At first glance, a memory bear looks pretty much like any 22” stuffed teddy bear. The difference is; a memory bear is created from the personal clothing of your loved one who has passed away. This is how a bear truly becomes a memory bear.

Memory Bears are therapeutic, but you will never believe until your personal memory bear is in your arms. Before you realize it, you are hugging this new friend. You smile through your tears as you remember the one who wore the clothes.

For all of us, remembering a loved one is bitter-sweet. The pain becomes tolerable, the heartache lessens, but the tears of remembering will always be there. Some days a smile to warm your heart, other days some tears to soften the pain. For some, there is a memory bear…to hold and hug…as you remember.