How do we tell him
That he is going to die?
What do we say?
What do we tell ourselves?
Is it okay to scream?
We have questions,
But no answers.
Why him?
Pain,
But no relief.
A message,
But no words.
Mouths are dry,
Hands are shaking,
Voices quiver,
Hearts are breaking.
He already knows,
But not how soon.
We comfort him,
Who will comfort us?
Life is stopping,
Breath is gone.
Who has the answer?
How do we go on?
He showed us courage,
This young man called Jon.
“Goodbye…we love you,”
Our last words to our son.
Copyright © 2011 LeRoy Dean All Rights Reserved
Memory Bears by Bonnie 
This is powerful. I can’t begin to understand the pain you and your husband experienced as parents to lose a son so early. It’s an irreplaceable love beyond words. I thank the Lord that He’s still getting you all through the loss day to day. Hope and faith is what I cling to in Him. Thank you for sharing about Jon and putting a ministry together to bless others from the bottom of your heart.
undecided on
I’m in tears from this poem. So sad. I wish I could have said goodbye to my son though. We had no warning. Again, I’m sorry for your loss.
Shared on twitter @GPWPoetry – “Heal the world, make it a better place” – Great Job Bonnie, Great Job.
My last words to Vic were “Love you too baby”
Only tears….and hugs for you. XX C J XX
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
Bonnie, thank you for visiting my blog – Vic’s Final Journey. We are still going through the pain of losing a child and whilst we pray for Vic’s suffering to end we fear that our pain will not lessen with time. Reading you blog reinforces this fear. Thank you for baring your soul and sharing your journey with us.
The is so heartfelt and heart-rending that I don’t have the words to express it. Such a bittersweet manner you have in sharing your stories with others. Thanks to you, and to Jon.
What a hard poem to have to write. No one should have to do this, such a sad thing to write. He was your loved one your golden light. Why did he have to go, the answer is, no one knows. You have your memories, that is true but is that enough comfort to you.
I do not know how you can bare this , I send you my love and hope that you are as settled with life as you seem to be. I feel honoured to have read this poem.thank you for sharing.
Bonnie,
Thanks for visiting our blog. If Elwood had worn clothes on his journey..you can be sure we would have had you made a bear. I am sorry for your loss of Jon, and am full of pride for your spiritual work and bear-making in his honor. You are a good momma. Blessings to you.
Jules
http://www.dedicatedtoelwood.wordpress.com
Wow awesome work …prayers and hugs your way ….
Thanks for visiting my BLOG on epigenetics. Your BLOG is very powerful. It is very hard to lose a loved one but life has its ups and downs. God does love us but his plan is not always apparent. My finace’s first husband died of ALS but he never lost his love of God and was able to recortd some very powerful words that have helped others. See it at our spiritual BLOG http://www.rainbowblessings.org/blog
I am sure the answers will come one day; for everyone. The above is now spreading beauty and consolation to other people.. Thank you
Wow! Simply powerful.
Absolutely beautiful.
I can see why you “liked” Louisa May Alcott’s poem, “My Little Ghost.” I have never lost a child but I have lost both my parents. Your faith must be very deep and it surely offers sweetness along with the bitterness. Kudos to you for working out your grief in such a wonderful way that helps others. May God continue to bless you!
I am truly sorry for your loss. Your words brought tears to my eyes. May God fill your heart with comfort and peace.
Hugs,
Lisa
It is easy to share words of comfort at first and then move on with one’s life… few remember that nothing really stays the same for those who bore and still bear the loss.. even weeks, months, and years later.
May the God of Comfort continue to strengthen you.. each and every day. Especially on those days where it looks as though the world has forgotten.
Beautiful, poignant and heartbreaking. I can’t imagine losing a child, and I’m very sorry for your loss of Jon. Your courage is an inspiration.
Thank you for sharing this with all of us. You are a courageous soul. Love and peace to you.
Beautiful tribute. Writing is so healing and it allows us to continue to remain connected to our loved one.
What a beautiful way to go through the grieving process. Thank you for sharing this.
Bonnie
Thank you for sharing your beautiful poem. We all lose someone, at some time.l For many, it is so very difficult to express thier sorrow. Your poem may help them see thet we are all members of this Family, and we all share universal joys and sorrows.
Your son’s beauty will always be in your heart, and his memories will always be alive.
A warm and compassionate tribute to your beloved son. Thank you for sharing, warm wishes Andre’
I am glad you ran across my place because I would never have found yours. Thank you for this…
It’s difficult for something to “touch” me. This did.
Such a moving tribute to your son….bless you….
Wow Bonnie. What a hauntingly beautiful poem. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing that beautiful poem, and sharing your vulnerability. I’m so sorry for the loss of your son.
Beautiful poem
Thank you for sharing this. Am in a certain way these past few days, facing loss all over again. Thank you.
Bought tears to my eyes it’s beautifully said, I share your loss & I am sorry I know there are no words to comfort this pain…
That made my eyes water..I will keep you in my prayers. your writing and the way you express… beautiful.
Thank you for visiting my blog! I can’t even imagine the pain of losing one’s child! 😥 Blessings sent your way!
Bonnie, this is hauntingly beautiful. I am very sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine losing my daughter. I just lost my mother last month, and that was hard enough. Your bears are wonderful.
It does not matter that time passes on, though we come to accept that someone we love has gone, we still smile at some memory, we still hurt now and then, but we always give thanks for they were God-sent.
This is beautiful and haunting, the entire gamut of emotions are running through me. Thank you for sharing!
I came across your blog because you read a post on mine own blog and were kind enough to “like” it. You are an inspirational woman. I have a son of mine own and can only imagine what you have been through. Your son was blessed to have parents like you and i know that you are infinitely blessed to have had him. Thank you for continuing to show that love, thoughtfulness, and kindness to a community of people that are going through a similar loss. Blessings to you and your family for the New Year.
Your words touched my soul and my heart swelled with emotion. May you find peace each day and healing through your tears. Thank you for sharing yourself with all of us.
I know nothing of what the circumstances were for you and your child. I strive for answers to such delema and usually come up with nothing.
This time however I am aware that, God takes care of children, an I like to think when God allows a little one to go early its because he wants him there with him. Sometimes its best to remove the person from the Disease, at other times the oposit is true, and again there are some who remain with there disease. I trust your son is in good hands, and I trust you are also in the same good hands. May the peace of God fall upon you entire family, with the blessing of understanding and acceptance.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Blessings to you!
Bonnie – I’m so sorry for your loss. My brother died from lung cancer two years ago and I understand how important those final words are. I drove 3 hours to get to his bedside and was able to speak with him (although he couldn’t speak by then) just an hour before he passed. Blessings to you and your family, especially for sharing your thoughts on such a heart-wrenching situation so many of us have experienced.
Thanks for keeping the door of Jon’s life open. He’s gone from your sight but not out of your thoughts and hearts. A well written poem for those of us who have pulled the heavy wagon of family medical issues.
What a touching story!!!
I hope you will keep writing. You have a way of expressing yourself that reaches all of us.
I can’t imagine a loss greater than that of a child. God bless you Bonnie for having the courage to write about it. The bears are such a great way to celebrate Jon’s life. Thanks for sharing.
My heart and prayers are with you.
Minister Glenda
My heart goes out to you! You’re in my prayers.
Oh my, that was very touching. God bless.
Oh wow Bonnie, I am so sorry for your loss. And what a wonderful idea the bears are!
May God give you the strength to get over this…
Thanks for ‘liking’ my poem -‘If We Don’t Grow Wings’ – your poem about your son hit a spot; whenever anyone close, or for that matter any pet, dies, the empty feelings, the loss, the confusion, can be overwhelming. Please know that though he may have ‘died’ , he is still very much alive – he simply doesn’t have a physical body anymore.
We go on to much greater things and often there is a great deal of learning to do, also time does not exist in the same way that it does on Earth. Jon is still aware of you all and will be around you at times, especially if you are in a bad way or if you call on him, but remember he won’t view the passing of his body in the same way as you and he will often be involved in great and wonderful learning experiences, so he won’t be there all the time.
Be kind to yourselves, love each other as you love life, and Jon.
Cliff
This is such an emotional poem, beautiful! My prayers are with you and your family…
Lauren
your comfort can come from only one place… may God bring healing, comfort and peace
Sorry for your loss. Very touching poem!
I am sorry for your loss. Your love will forever make his memories live and with good reason. for that will be a face of what motherly love is. be strong for your family.
Hi Bonnie – this is such a beautifully written poem. Straight from the heart.
We lost our 12 year old son too. We can feel your pain. It’s been a year now. But we feel his presence all the time – as I’m sure you do too. In a lot of ways we feel blessed that we had him at least for those 12 incredible years – during which he’s left us with beautiful memories that’ll last our lifetimes.
We try not to grieve because we’re certain he can see us & feel our pain. And, he would feel so helpless seeing us that way. On the contrary, we’ve tried to remain upbeat to make him feel good too – that it’s OK, that we’ll meet again in such a beautiful place – eternally, never to be parted again. We’ve gotten unbelievable support from our friends, family, complete strangers – and mostly from God.
God bless you guys. Remember Jon fondly & with happiness in your heart. And reach out to others who can gain strength seeing you strong in the face of, probably, the worst thing a human being needs to endure. Keep smiling. Lots of love always…
aarti & anil
and here’s hoping the dementia factor (replying twice) will give you a good laugh!!!!!
Hi Bonnie, Thanks for checking out my blog, and for leading me to yours. This poem is truly beautiful, and tells of your hardache and grief. Sending you love and healing wishes, and I hope eventually you will find some meaning come from your loss. i know I did from mine. It seems we share words to express our journeys; keep it up, your are beautiful. xxx
Dear Bonnie, Thanks for checking out my blog, and for leading me to your beautiful blog, and this amazing poem. It seems we share writing to help us through our grief and tears… keep up these beautiful words. I have experienced many types of grief, but not that of losing a child, and I have no way of knowing how very painful this would be, other than by knowing how much I love my own children. My heart and love goes out to you through your journey of grief, and I hope and pray you will find meaning in it one day.
Thank you for finding me so I could find you. I am so sorry for your loss. This poem breaks my heart and how much you must have cried as you wrote it. I hope that this helps you find peace as you are on your most difficult journey and a big virtual hug to you today and the days to come.
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Beautiful and sorry for your lost
No one knows your pain and agony; we can only send support and prayers … and thank you for helping us.
Thank you for sharing your story if must be hard and will always be hard but his spirit and memories are what keeps you going. Remember the special moments even if for a short time. He is watching over you and yours and he wants you to be happy! Thank you stories like this give others Hope to get through anything.
This is just heart wrenching yet well written with emotion. I am so so deeply sorry and your will be in my prayers.
I share your feelings…
It may have been “only” my grandfather, but alas, I know too well the feeling…
The weight of the dead is on the living I guess…
Just stay up, I think our beloved would agree!
Guy
My heart goes out to you, along with my sympathy. So many things happen in life over which we have no control – things which are so senseless. No parent should have to grieve their child’s death. Experience the pain as it will help you survive this, and try to remember your son would want you to go on. No one and nothing of this earth can take your precious memories – your relationship with your son will never leave your heart and mind. Take good care.
This is beautiful and hard. I had to say “Good bye” to my only sibling, my younger brother much too soon. Your poem captures that inconceivable moment in words, emotions too deep to speak or even dip my toes into for almost a year. It’s been ten years now, and I am able to walk back through those long ten days in ICU — waiting, waiting, holding our breath, praying for a miracle, letting go. My parents changed in that instant. I changed. Life and family changed, and heaven became a place I long for, a reunion I sweetly anticipate. Thank you for these words, words to share with my parents who’ve walked a similar path, words honest and real that touched me deeply.
I can’t even begin to imagine the pain. I am so, so sorry.
There is a pain so deep that it never lets go. So deep that it’s only by grace that we can go on. Poignant and honest and raw. Thank you for sharing your heart. I’ll pray for you both often.
I lke your poem very much, and my heart goes with you at this very sad time.
This is so touching, and spreads the true message of your heart. I can’t know just how you feel but I feel for you.
I cried…so simply heart wrenching. May God give you peace
That was beautiful.
You are truly an inspiration for those of us that are still fighting the battle with cancer. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. I am sorry for your loss but I know he lives on within you and in your memories. God Bless. – Reilee
I have a twelve year old son called Jonathan and thankfully i am a cancer survivor. How wonderful that in your pain you are reaching out to help others . The bears are a wonderful way to help others hold onto their memories. Divinely inspired. My prayers are with you, blessed are those who mourn for you shall be comforted
Beautiful poem straight from your heart.
Very touching.
So hard to say goodbye and it’s special for you to share these last moments. Some of us don’t get the chance to say goodbye. Love your teddies and your blog! Your bears are a wonderful idea….
Bonnie, you are amazing in your love, and how you have turned something so difficult into something that can offer such comfort to others experiencing the same loss. Blessings to you and your family.
I am so very sorry for your loss, Bonnie. I cried my way through your words. I will pray for God to grant you deep comfort and peace.
Lisa
Oh my God, Bonnie, I’m crying rivers.
I wish I could do something to take some of your pain away, but I can’t.
The only thing I can do is to tell you that your poem is beautiful and to thank you for sharing it with us.
Stay strong, take good care of yourselves and try to enjoy life Bonnie. Your son would not have wanted you to give up, but continue living and helping those around you.
Big hug to you,
How blessed he was, to have been born to you, how tragic that you lost him. Those of us, who read these words, cannot help but to be touched deeply. All of us, who have loved and lost in any way, feel your pain and we send you a piece of our heart to try and ease it. I join your other readers in giving you a hear felt hug
Heartbreaking… sending you hugs x
God bless you. Love your writing, love your blog, love your heart!
What a beautiful, but heart wrenching poem. I have a seven year old little boy and I cannot even imagine this world without him in it. My heart goes out to you and yours….what a terrible loss to have to suffer.
Oh, I am so sorry for your loss…my heart goes out to you and your family. He must have been a truly wonderful person and I’m certain that his love lives on in you….my love to you, kathy