On This 21st Anniversary

~ On this anniversary 21st Anniversary ~

us 1994Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,it does not   boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

~ ♥ ♥ ~

November 27th, 1994

Keep Remorse at Bay

A definition of remorse is a deep regret or guilt for a wrong committed. In yesterday’s post, I talked about regrets that we all seem to find in the grieving process. Because we are imperfect, there will always be something to latch onto if we choose. These regrets come and go and eventually fade with time.

When this doesn’t happen and a regret takes hold, we have remorse. Even though the concept of remorse usually relates to a serious crime or action, remorse can and does affect many who allow their regrets to become dominant in their thoughts and daily life. Regret turned remorse causes unnecessary anguish during a time of grief. Regret if you will, but keep remorse at bay.

Grieving without Regrets

With grieving, comes regrets; wishing we would have done or said this or that; or that we hadn’t done or said this or that. Regrets can catch us up one way or the other. Why is it so easy to regret? Consider the fact that we are imperfect and no matter how hard we try to do and say everything right; we fall short.

That being the case, how much time do you think we should waste on regrets? As little time as possible and only to learn from them for the tomorrows to come. For the yesterdays gone, we can only let regrets go and realize that is what your loved one would want you to do. Grieving is tough enough.

Yesterday Cannot be Changed


Memories of yesterdays are precious to our hearts. Often, memories are bitter-sweet and difficult to recall. We tend to focus on the bitter side of things and create much heartache for ourselves.

I have memories of my son, Jon, that are bitter-sweet. The tears I shed are tears of regret. I have gone most of my life regretting and blaming myself for not doing things different…for not knowing what to do…for not getting it right.

Hindsight is so clear, but the reality of the moment is all that I had. Looking back, I know I could have made better memories. Unfortunately, that is not how it works. You do with what you have and what you know at the time. I was young and trying to figure it out. I knew nothing about most everything.

I am learning to forgive myself. I am learning to let go of regret. If any of this is relative to your memories, I hope you will forgive yourself. It is hard to admit we are not perfect; that we do not have all the answers. It is very hard to look back and accept the bitter with the sweet. That is what we must do, for we cannot change it for yesterday cannot be changed, it can only be accepted.

Better Days

DSCN1643 - Copy

Often, we look to better days when life’s road gets rocky and the way is hard to find. We remember when the sun was shining and we were skipping down this road of life. Usually, those better days are the more carefree days of our youth.

Better days can always be found, looking back. We remember, not all details, but those that make us smile. By choice, we create the memories that we want, polishing here and there to have them shine as bright as possible.

It is good to remember the sunshine and, somehow, stop the rain. Sometimes, it is good to remember the rain that challenged us to grow and made us stronger for days ahead. Our lives need the sunshine and the rain to know better days.